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A fair and balanced compendium of spontaneous exclamations and excited utterances, with 22 entries on the front page. And, now, Home of the YATSASS™ Reports Yet Another True Story About Stupid Studies: • Breathing Bus Exhaust is Stressful • Depressed People May Take Drugs To Feel Better • Smart healthy people choose foods more wisely than stupid drunks • Stressed Out Moms Think Their Babies Are Annoying • People Are Groggy When They Wake Up • Airport Screeners Probably Can't Stop Spread of SARS & Flu • Study on Studies Yields Disappointment! • Lengthy Study with No Findings! A perfect YATSASS! • Making Fun Of Fat Kids Depresses Them • Drinking Highly Sugared Beverages Can Make You Fat! • Americans Prefer Safe & Effective Drugs to Unproven and Dangerous Ones • Study Shows Poor & Homeless Drink More Malt Liquor • Study on People in Studies Yields Predictable Answers, But Also Raises New Questions • Women Don't Like Getting Up to Feed the Newborn While Their Husbands Sleep Like Babies • Sperm Levels Drop With Frequent Ejaculation • People Who Don't Screw Around Get Less Clap • Swimming Can Cause Fluid Build-Up in Lungs • People Who Eat A Proper Diet are Healthier and Thinner • People who don't wet their pants feel better than people who do • Maybe Left Handed Winter Babies have More Brain Cancer, Maybe Not... • People who had nose jobs and people who didn't both like the same kind of noses • People pass more gas when they are active • Kids who spend too much time reading will get headaches • People who get drunk think others are more attractive than they do when they're sober In the old days, My thoughts were more coherent, and I could string together whole sequences of actual paragraphs! Those essays can be found here for those so interested.
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Friday, January 21, 2005 Posted 8:59 AM
  So maybe I was a bit hard on Tom Ridge... The following is an actual press release from our nation's top law enforcement agency...annotated with my attempts to help those lacking the special training our agents have... FBI Press Room - Press Release - January 20, 2005: For Immediate Release January 20, 2005 Washington D.C. FBI National Press Office Washington , D.C. - The FBI today is alerting the public to new persons of interest in the unspecified potential threat to the City of Boston , beyond the names and photographs of four Chinese nationals released in a January 19, 2005 , press release in Boston . The names of these new persons, identified through our ongoing investigation, are: 1) Yu Xian Weng , female, possible date of birth (DOB) 4/5/64 and Chinese passport #P5997636 or DOB 10/4/63 and Chinese passport #G07457027 [This is the Chinese equivalent of Ann Smith] 2) Qinquan Lin , or Qiquan Lin, male, possible DOB 3/6/83 and Chinese passport #G04152197 [This is the Chinese equivalent of Jeff Jones] 3) Liqiang Liang, male, possible DOB 9/1/76 and Chinese passport #G07074257 [This is the Chinese equivalent of John Johnson] 4) Min Xiu Xie, male, possible DOB 11/21/77 and Chinese passport #G08386268 [This is the Chinese equivalent of Mike Smith] 5) Xiang Wei Liu, or Xing Wei Liu, male, possible DOB 5/30/82 and Chinese passport #G053490L8 [This is the Chinese equivalent of Jack Doherty] 6) Mei Xia Dong, male, possible DOB 10/25/83 [Aside from the xenophopic vulgar joke regarding penis length, this is the Chinese equivalent of Jimmy Johnson] 7) Xiuming Chen, male [... Chinese equivalent of Tim Smith] 8) Cheng Yin Liu, male [...Pat Doherty] 9) Zao Yun Wang, male [...Tim Johnson] 10) Jose Ernesto Beltran Quinones, male
Photographs of these individuals are not available. None of the names has been validated as a “person of interest” on any previously existing “watch list”." © 2002-2008 Rob Falk, All Rights Reserved. All Wrongs Denied. Your mileage won't vary; it will be less. | Subscribe to Rants!
  
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