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A fair and balanced compendium of spontaneous exclamations and excited utterances, with 22 entries on the front page. And, now, Home of the YATSASS™ Reports Yet Another True Story About Stupid Studies: • Breathing Bus Exhaust is Stressful • Depressed People May Take Drugs To Feel Better • Smart healthy people choose foods more wisely than stupid drunks • Stressed Out Moms Think Their Babies Are Annoying • People Are Groggy When They Wake Up • Airport Screeners Probably Can't Stop Spread of SARS & Flu • Study on Studies Yields Disappointment! • Lengthy Study with No Findings! A perfect YATSASS! • Making Fun Of Fat Kids Depresses Them • Drinking Highly Sugared Beverages Can Make You Fat! • Americans Prefer Safe & Effective Drugs to Unproven and Dangerous Ones • Study Shows Poor & Homeless Drink More Malt Liquor • Study on People in Studies Yields Predictable Answers, But Also Raises New Questions • Women Don't Like Getting Up to Feed the Newborn While Their Husbands Sleep Like Babies • Sperm Levels Drop With Frequent Ejaculation • People Who Don't Screw Around Get Less Clap • Swimming Can Cause Fluid Build-Up in Lungs • People Who Eat A Proper Diet are Healthier and Thinner • People who don't wet their pants feel better than people who do • Maybe Left Handed Winter Babies have More Brain Cancer, Maybe Not... • People who had nose jobs and people who didn't both like the same kind of noses • People pass more gas when they are active • Kids who spend too much time reading will get headaches • People who get drunk think others are more attractive than they do when they're sober In the old days, My thoughts were more coherent, and I could string together whole sequences of actual paragraphs! Those essays can be found here for those so interested.
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Thursday, August 29, 2002 Posted 7:14 PM
  What exactly is the deal with the outrage over Opie & Anthony? These two cretins have been excreting their idea of wit for years now on various radio stations. Back here near Boston we endured "Whip 'em Out Wednesdays" for quite some time, where the funny-boys encouraged their WAAF listeners to encourage women everywhere to bare their breasts on demand, each week. After an April Fools' Day stunt in which they reported Boston mayor Thomas Menino had died in an automobile accident, they were summarily fired. Of course, they were picked up by Infinity Broadcasting before they even missed a paycheck, and were then not only back on the air in Boston (this time at a real radio station, WBCN, instead of at the delinquent day care center in Wistah) but also poisoning the airwaves in NYC, Washington and LA. Serious punishment, I'd say. So, now after encouraging their listeners to copulate in various public places - and actually convincing some in-bred pair from Virginia to do it in a church (accompanied by live, on-air, play-by-play) - they have again been dispatched following the usual hue and cry and threats of FCC fines. Don't these reactionary, old women ever learn anything? If history is any indicator we should soon see Opie & Anthony on network TV! And just what was all the outrage about this time, anyhow? Rude, crude, vile, vulgar - yeah, par for the freakin' course. But wait - I think I see:
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