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A fair and balanced compendium of spontaneous exclamations and excited utterances, with 22 entries on the front page. And, now, Home of the YATSASS™ Reports Yet Another True Story About Stupid Studies: • Breathing Bus Exhaust is Stressful • Depressed People May Take Drugs To Feel Better • Smart healthy people choose foods more wisely than stupid drunks • Stressed Out Moms Think Their Babies Are Annoying • People Are Groggy When They Wake Up • Airport Screeners Probably Can't Stop Spread of SARS & Flu • Study on Studies Yields Disappointment! • Lengthy Study with No Findings! A perfect YATSASS! • Making Fun Of Fat Kids Depresses Them • Drinking Highly Sugared Beverages Can Make You Fat! • Americans Prefer Safe & Effective Drugs to Unproven and Dangerous Ones • Study Shows Poor & Homeless Drink More Malt Liquor • Study on People in Studies Yields Predictable Answers, But Also Raises New Questions • Women Don't Like Getting Up to Feed the Newborn While Their Husbands Sleep Like Babies • Sperm Levels Drop With Frequent Ejaculation • People Who Don't Screw Around Get Less Clap • Swimming Can Cause Fluid Build-Up in Lungs • People Who Eat A Proper Diet are Healthier and Thinner • People who don't wet their pants feel better than people who do • Maybe Left Handed Winter Babies have More Brain Cancer, Maybe Not... • People who had nose jobs and people who didn't both like the same kind of noses • People pass more gas when they are active • Kids who spend too much time reading will get headaches • People who get drunk think others are more attractive than they do when they're sober In the old days, My thoughts were more coherent, and I could string together whole sequences of actual paragraphs! Those essays can be found here for those so interested.
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Wednesday, September 25, 2002 Posted 9:57 AM
  So, we're back down to Condition Yellow. What a relief! All that orange alertness left me feeling jittery and on edge. It's reassuring that our government has scientifically determined that the possibility of some random act of violence, occurring somewhere in the world, perpetrated by someone unknown, against persons or governments indeterminate has diminished from very likely to only likely. As long as my government has that kind of confidence in its ability to predict and prepare us for such things, I appreciate them keeping us informed. Tuesday, September 17, 2002 Posted 6:06 PM
My good friend Warren Tollman left two messages on my answering service over the last couple days. Did that chrome-domed twit think that I'd actually welcome auto-dialed pre-recorded announcements on my telephone? If he'd left a call-back number I probably would have reminded him that autodialed prerecorded announcements are on the verge of being against the law in Massachusetts, and to take me off the calling list. Since he didn't, I guess I'll just not vote for him! Monday, September 09, 2002 Posted 9:11 PM
I always thought that Aaron Carter was a total no talent little kid who just rode along on his older brother's coat tails. I just heard Nik Carter sing the national anthem before the Patriots home opener. I guess Aaron really isn't much worse than his brother. Thursday, September 05, 2002 Posted 1:21 PM
Let's hear it for the law firm of Sheller, Ludwig & Badey. They actually had the chutzpah to file a class action lawsuit against the Palm Computing company because the Palm m130 displays 58,621 colors instead of the advertised 65,000. Now, Palm probably should have offered a refund to customers who were really upset - and now they have - but c'mon people, does this really matter? Can anyone see the difference? Would anyone who wanted one, now knowing the true story now not want one? I guess you can't blame the law firm; they were hired by a client... who I hear is some fat, cheesburger chomping guy from New York... © 2002-2008 Rob Falk, All Rights Reserved. All Wrongs Denied. Your mileage won't vary; it will be less. | Subscribe to Rants!
  
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