A fair and balanced compendium of spontaneous exclamations and excited utterances, with 22 entries on the front page.

And, now, Home of the YATSASS™ Reports

Yet Another True Story About Stupid Studies:

•  Oliver Twist Was Well Fed

•  Breathing Bus Exhaust is Stressful

•  Depressed People May Take Drugs To Feel Better

•  Smart healthy people choose foods more wisely than stupid drunks

•  Stressed Out Moms Think Their Babies Are Annoying

•  People Are Groggy When They Wake Up

•  Exercise is Good For You

•  Airport Screeners Probably Can't Stop Spread of SARS & Flu

•  Study on Studies Yields Disappointment!

•  Kids Imitate Their Parents!

•  Lengthy Study with No Findings! A perfect YATSASS!

•  Making Fun Of Fat Kids Depresses Them

•  Drinking Highly Sugared Beverages Can Make You Fat!

•  Americans Prefer Safe & Effective Drugs to Unproven and Dangerous Ones

•  Study Shows Poor & Homeless Drink More Malt Liquor

•  Study on People in Studies Yields Predictable Answers, But Also Raises New Questions

•  Women Don't Like Getting Up to Feed the Newborn While Their Husbands Sleep Like Babies

•  Sperm Levels Drop With Frequent Ejaculation

•  People Who Don't Screw Around Get Less Clap

•  Swimming Can Cause Fluid Build-Up in Lungs

•  People Who Eat A Proper Diet are Healthier and Thinner

•  People who don't wet their pants feel better than people who do

•  Maybe Left Handed Winter Babies have More Brain Cancer, Maybe Not...

•  People who had nose jobs and people who didn't both like the same kind of noses

•  People pass more gas when they are active

•  Kids who spend too much time reading will get headaches

•  People who get drunk think others are more attractive than they do when they're sober

In the old days, My thoughts were more coherent, and I could string together whole sequences of actual paragraphs! Those essays can be found here for those so interested.

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Thursday, April 10, 2003

Posted 10:05 AM

Bex and I are hanging out, playing a little Harry Potter trivia, and she says she's been thinking aout the d-i-v-o-r-c-e. I ask her if she wants to share anything. She's kind of quiet and says, "No, I'm just sad you guys can't live together."

I say, "Yeah, me too, but this whole thing is better than you thought it would be, isn't it?"

She says, "Yeah, its about a half as bad."

I ask her if she likes my house. She says "Yes! I love it!"

I say, "Does it feel like its your home too?"

She replies immediately, "Of course it does!" Then, proving that music, soul, and a slightly warped outlook are passed by nature and by nurture, she says, "Wherever I make a mess, that's my home!*"

I kid you not!

* a tip of the hat to Mr. Marvin Gaye

- 30 -


© 2002-2008 Rob Falk, All Rights Reserved. All Wrongs Denied.
Your mileage won't vary; it will be less.
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