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A fair and balanced compendium of spontaneous exclamations and excited utterances, with 22 entries on the front page. And, now, Home of the YATSASS™ Reports Yet Another True Story About Stupid Studies: • Breathing Bus Exhaust is Stressful • Depressed People May Take Drugs To Feel Better • Smart healthy people choose foods more wisely than stupid drunks • Stressed Out Moms Think Their Babies Are Annoying • People Are Groggy When They Wake Up • Airport Screeners Probably Can't Stop Spread of SARS & Flu • Study on Studies Yields Disappointment! • Lengthy Study with No Findings! A perfect YATSASS! • Making Fun Of Fat Kids Depresses Them • Drinking Highly Sugared Beverages Can Make You Fat! • Americans Prefer Safe & Effective Drugs to Unproven and Dangerous Ones • Study Shows Poor & Homeless Drink More Malt Liquor • Study on People in Studies Yields Predictable Answers, But Also Raises New Questions • Women Don't Like Getting Up to Feed the Newborn While Their Husbands Sleep Like Babies • Sperm Levels Drop With Frequent Ejaculation • People Who Don't Screw Around Get Less Clap • Swimming Can Cause Fluid Build-Up in Lungs • People Who Eat A Proper Diet are Healthier and Thinner • People who don't wet their pants feel better than people who do • Maybe Left Handed Winter Babies have More Brain Cancer, Maybe Not... • People who had nose jobs and people who didn't both like the same kind of noses • People pass more gas when they are active • Kids who spend too much time reading will get headaches • People who get drunk think others are more attractive than they do when they're sober In the old days, My thoughts were more coherent, and I could string together whole sequences of actual paragraphs! Those essays can be found here for those so interested.
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Monday, April 28, 2003 Posted 8:54 AM
  Gutter? Cutter? Kwah-Tar? Kah-Tarr? Just how do you want to say Qatar today? Don't newscasters have anything better to do than come up with new ways to pronounce old words, when we all of a sudden become obsessed with some heretofore ignored portion of the non-48? Remember when Mow Tsay Toong became Mousie Dung? And Pea King became Bay Zhing? Oh yeah, and after about a gazillion years, Hay Lee's comet became Ha (as in hat) Lee's comet. I don't know, I could be wrong, but it reminds me of the guy who gets off the plane in Oahu and says to the local: Tell me, is it pronounced HaWaii, or HaVaii? The resident says, "HaVaii." The traveller says, "Thanks," and the native says "You're Velcome." Which reminds me of my dear, departed Grandma Mary who came to this country in 1915 or so, from some now extinct Ukraine/Bessaravia/Latvia kind of place, teaching my little brother how to properly say "waffle," which he, in his three or four year old speak, called "awfuls." She'd say, "No, no... Michael. Vawfull! Vaaaw-full! © 2002-2008 Rob Falk, All Rights Reserved. All Wrongs Denied. Your mileage won't vary; it will be less. | Subscribe to Rants!
  
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