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A fair and balanced compendium of spontaneous exclamations and excited utterances, with 22 entries on the front page. And, now, Home of the YATSASS™ Reports Yet Another True Story About Stupid Studies: • Breathing Bus Exhaust is Stressful • Depressed People May Take Drugs To Feel Better • Smart healthy people choose foods more wisely than stupid drunks • Stressed Out Moms Think Their Babies Are Annoying • People Are Groggy When They Wake Up • Airport Screeners Probably Can't Stop Spread of SARS & Flu • Study on Studies Yields Disappointment! • Lengthy Study with No Findings! A perfect YATSASS! • Making Fun Of Fat Kids Depresses Them • Drinking Highly Sugared Beverages Can Make You Fat! • Americans Prefer Safe & Effective Drugs to Unproven and Dangerous Ones • Study Shows Poor & Homeless Drink More Malt Liquor • Study on People in Studies Yields Predictable Answers, But Also Raises New Questions • Women Don't Like Getting Up to Feed the Newborn While Their Husbands Sleep Like Babies • Sperm Levels Drop With Frequent Ejaculation • People Who Don't Screw Around Get Less Clap • Swimming Can Cause Fluid Build-Up in Lungs • People Who Eat A Proper Diet are Healthier and Thinner • People who don't wet their pants feel better than people who do • Maybe Left Handed Winter Babies have More Brain Cancer, Maybe Not... • People who had nose jobs and people who didn't both like the same kind of noses • People pass more gas when they are active • Kids who spend too much time reading will get headaches • People who get drunk think others are more attractive than they do when they're sober In the old days, My thoughts were more coherent, and I could string together whole sequences of actual paragraphs! Those essays can be found here for those so interested.
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Thursday, June 19, 2003 Posted 10:31 AM
  Is there a way to remotely destroy Orrin Hatch? This, from C/Net News: During a hearing that Hatch convened Tuesday on the "national security risks" of P2P networks, he asked a witness, "Can you destroy their set in their home?" referring to a home PC. Randy Saaf of MediaDefender, a secretive Los Angeles company that works with the recording industry to disrupt P2P networks, replied by saying "nobody" is interested in that approach. "I am," Hatch said. "I'm interested in doing that. That may be the only way you can teach someone about copyright...That would be the ultimate way of making sure" no more copyright is infringed. [Interesting aside: On Wednesday, Hatch came under attack for allegedly being a copyright pirate himself. His hatch.senate.gov Web site's menus use JavaScript code created by the U.K. company Milonic Solutions. Milonic Solutions charges between $35 and $900 for the right to obtain a license number for its JavaScript menu, but Hatch's site does not include a license number. Instead, this comment appears in the site's HTML code: "i am the license for the menu (duh)." ] Hey, while we're at it, let's take it a step farther. Pop in a cassette that your Dad made of the Sopranos episode you missed, and KA-BOOM! VCR and TV G-O-N-E! Photocopy that Newsweek article on Ethiopia and it holy-effin-crap bursts into flames right there at Copy Cop. And they don't call it Copy Cop for nothing! The Copy Lieutenant grabs you right there, cuffs you, and brings you Mr. Hatch himself. There, you are forced to listen to Mr. Hatch's own recordings: click here only if you have a strong stomach and an overwhelmingly patriotic mood. Posted 10:07 AM
What up wit dat? I'm walking by this store in Harvard Square called Little Tibet and in the window they have this huge sign Free Tibet!. Never having had any, and somewhat curious, I walked in and asked for a sample. They seemed confused and a little upset, and said they didn't have any. I said, "I know the sign says "Little Tibet" but I thought you'ld have at least some..." Tersely, the woman said "No, we don't have any." I thought to myself, "Yeah, sure. If I didn't have any I'd give it away too. A few more strides down Mass Ave., and I find myself in front of Revolution Books. There, in the window, amidst the volumes on Marx, Lenin, and American Imperialism, I spy another banner that piques my excitement. Free Mumia! it proclaims. In I walk, and, guess what? Wednesday, June 11, 2003 Posted 8:19 AM
And your mother wears Army boots... Hans Blix is upset with US diplomats. He is on record as saying "There are people in this [US] administration who say they don't care if the UN sinks under the East river, and other crude things." Jeepers creepers Mr. Blix, do you think US politicians have an agenda? Tuesday, June 10, 2003 Posted 12:52 PM
It is not merely a misdemeanor, or even a violation of law: In the Peoples' Republic of Cambridge, taking a digital video of ducks crossing the street is "fucking illegal!" I'm just glad the Right Worshipful Duck Sheriff of Cambridge let me off with just a kick at my car! Thursday, June 05, 2003 Posted 9:31 AM
Dear Mr. Shelton Jackson Spike Lee, You sir, are crazy. When Viacom chose to rename their TNN cable channel as Spike TV, it was an obvious tribute to Red Sox baseball legend Spike Owen, who on August 21, 1986 tied the 20th century Major League Baseball record by scoring six runs in Boston's 24-5 thrashing of the Cleveland Indians. It has nothing to do with you. Unlike you, sir, Spike Owen has been known as Spike since birth, as it is his true given name. And, to the best of my knowledge (and to his credit), he has never called a movie a "joint." Please, Shelly, get a life! Thank you. © 2002-2008 Rob Falk, All Rights Reserved. All Wrongs Denied. Your mileage won't vary; it will be less. | Subscribe to Rants!
  
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