A fair and balanced compendium of spontaneous exclamations and excited utterances, with 22 entries on the front page.

And, now, Home of the YATSASS™ Reports

Yet Another True Story About Stupid Studies:

•  Oliver Twist Was Well Fed

•  Breathing Bus Exhaust is Stressful

•  Depressed People May Take Drugs To Feel Better

•  Smart healthy people choose foods more wisely than stupid drunks

•  Stressed Out Moms Think Their Babies Are Annoying

•  People Are Groggy When They Wake Up

•  Exercise is Good For You

•  Airport Screeners Probably Can't Stop Spread of SARS & Flu

•  Study on Studies Yields Disappointment!

•  Kids Imitate Their Parents!

•  Lengthy Study with No Findings! A perfect YATSASS!

•  Making Fun Of Fat Kids Depresses Them

•  Drinking Highly Sugared Beverages Can Make You Fat!

•  Americans Prefer Safe & Effective Drugs to Unproven and Dangerous Ones

•  Study Shows Poor & Homeless Drink More Malt Liquor

•  Study on People in Studies Yields Predictable Answers, But Also Raises New Questions

•  Women Don't Like Getting Up to Feed the Newborn While Their Husbands Sleep Like Babies

•  Sperm Levels Drop With Frequent Ejaculation

•  People Who Don't Screw Around Get Less Clap

•  Swimming Can Cause Fluid Build-Up in Lungs

•  People Who Eat A Proper Diet are Healthier and Thinner

•  People who don't wet their pants feel better than people who do

•  Maybe Left Handed Winter Babies have More Brain Cancer, Maybe Not...

•  People who had nose jobs and people who didn't both like the same kind of noses

•  People pass more gas when they are active

•  Kids who spend too much time reading will get headaches

•  People who get drunk think others are more attractive than they do when they're sober

In the old days, My thoughts were more coherent, and I could string together whole sequences of actual paragraphs! Those essays can be found here for those so interested.

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Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Posted 10:10 PM

NASA Delays Shuttle Launch till "Shit Stops Falling Off"

CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. (Reuters) - NASA on Wednesday delayed the launch of shuttle Discovery until at least Saturday, postponing its first human space flight since the 2003 Columbia disaster due to a problem with a fuel sensor.

"Well all I can say is shucks," said Wayne Hale, deputy shuttle program manager.

Another source, on condition of anonymity did have more to say. "Whale... its lahk thee-is," said the engineer, "We just thunk 'at we outta wait 'til shit stops fallin' off it and breakin' other shit. No-wutta-mean?" When asked to elucidate, the source demurred, explaining that as a supervisor he had to "round up the boys" and "git ta' crackin' on it" before, "Mr. Hale tears [him] a new one."

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© 2002-2008 Rob Falk, All Rights Reserved. All Wrongs Denied.
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