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A fair and balanced compendium of spontaneous exclamations and excited utterances, with 22 entries on the front page. And, now, Home of the YATSASS™ Reports Yet Another True Story About Stupid Studies: • Breathing Bus Exhaust is Stressful • Depressed People May Take Drugs To Feel Better • Smart healthy people choose foods more wisely than stupid drunks • Stressed Out Moms Think Their Babies Are Annoying • People Are Groggy When They Wake Up • Airport Screeners Probably Can't Stop Spread of SARS & Flu • Study on Studies Yields Disappointment! • Lengthy Study with No Findings! A perfect YATSASS! • Making Fun Of Fat Kids Depresses Them • Drinking Highly Sugared Beverages Can Make You Fat! • Americans Prefer Safe & Effective Drugs to Unproven and Dangerous Ones • Study Shows Poor & Homeless Drink More Malt Liquor • Study on People in Studies Yields Predictable Answers, But Also Raises New Questions • Women Don't Like Getting Up to Feed the Newborn While Their Husbands Sleep Like Babies • Sperm Levels Drop With Frequent Ejaculation • People Who Don't Screw Around Get Less Clap • Swimming Can Cause Fluid Build-Up in Lungs • People Who Eat A Proper Diet are Healthier and Thinner • People who don't wet their pants feel better than people who do • Maybe Left Handed Winter Babies have More Brain Cancer, Maybe Not... • People who had nose jobs and people who didn't both like the same kind of noses • People pass more gas when they are active • Kids who spend too much time reading will get headaches • People who get drunk think others are more attractive than they do when they're sober In the old days, My thoughts were more coherent, and I could string together whole sequences of actual paragraphs! Those essays can be found here for those so interested.
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Wednesday, July 13, 2005 Posted 9:54 PM
  Next, Cardinal Fang Will Employ the Comfy Chair... Report cites 'degrading' Guantanamo treatment:
Ok, ok, ok. How do you say "Sticks and stones...," in Farsi or Shiite or Arabic or Serbian, or whatever these bedwetters speak? What's more, if this is the worst these rat-bastards have been through, this whining little too-gutless-to-be-a-suicide-bombing pansy probably is gay.
Well, that's a big mistake. This commander should be punished if this is the best he can do. What's he going to try next? Surprise? Fear? Sarcasm and Irony? Good lord man, we're interrogating terrorists! Where's Eliot Ness when you need him?
Oh, wow - let me call Amnesty International and the Red Cross! Who knows what horrors these guys will face next? Wedgies?
Well, now here just have a simple failure to communicate, perhaps a clash of western and middle eastern culture (if I may call it that.) I mean, don't the Paris Island DI's say the same things to our own enlistees? And, heck, this might not have been directed to them at all. Such verbiage is regularly bantered back and forth at Gitmo guards' card games I'd figger.
Yeah, and if he hadn't begged out of doing a couple shooters on religious grounds he could have already been a frat brother at DTG at Princeton.
Uh, huh. And the problem with that is...? I'll tell you the problem. They need to menace him more, and quit working half-days. I didn't hear anything about him spilling the beans. Did you? I understand a sock fillled with pennies hurts like a mofo, but doesn't leave too bad a bruise... © 2002-2008 Rob Falk, All Rights Reserved. All Wrongs Denied. Your mileage won't vary; it will be less. | Subscribe to Rants!
  
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