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A fair and balanced compendium of spontaneous exclamations and excited utterances, with 22 entries on the front page. And, now, Home of the YATSASS™ Reports Yet Another True Story About Stupid Studies: • Breathing Bus Exhaust is Stressful • Depressed People May Take Drugs To Feel Better • Smart healthy people choose foods more wisely than stupid drunks • Stressed Out Moms Think Their Babies Are Annoying • People Are Groggy When They Wake Up • Airport Screeners Probably Can't Stop Spread of SARS & Flu • Study on Studies Yields Disappointment! • Lengthy Study with No Findings! A perfect YATSASS! • Making Fun Of Fat Kids Depresses Them • Drinking Highly Sugared Beverages Can Make You Fat! • Americans Prefer Safe & Effective Drugs to Unproven and Dangerous Ones • Study Shows Poor & Homeless Drink More Malt Liquor • Study on People in Studies Yields Predictable Answers, But Also Raises New Questions • Women Don't Like Getting Up to Feed the Newborn While Their Husbands Sleep Like Babies • Sperm Levels Drop With Frequent Ejaculation • People Who Don't Screw Around Get Less Clap • Swimming Can Cause Fluid Build-Up in Lungs • People Who Eat A Proper Diet are Healthier and Thinner • People who don't wet their pants feel better than people who do • Maybe Left Handed Winter Babies have More Brain Cancer, Maybe Not... • People who had nose jobs and people who didn't both like the same kind of noses • People pass more gas when they are active • Kids who spend too much time reading will get headaches • People who get drunk think others are more attractive than they do when they're sober In the old days, My thoughts were more coherent, and I could string together whole sequences of actual paragraphs! Those essays can be found here for those so interested.
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Friday, May 23, 2008 Posted 2:24 PM
   In yet another sign that something’s wrong in trademark-land, the manufacturer of a waterproof, chemical-resistant, hand-held, button-operated computer input device (a thing non-lawyers might call a “mouse”) is suing CBS, who has owned a trademark in the cartoon character Mighty Mouse since 1955, for licensing the name Mighty Mouse to Apple, Inc. for use in conjunction with its sturdy hand-held, button-operated computer input device, and suing Apple for using the name Mighty Mouse.Now, it was undoubtedly quite rude for Apple to go and name its August 2005 product with a name that Man & Machine had been using for their mouse since… March 2004. That is, of course, if Apple or CBS even knew that Man & Machine had started to market a product called Mighty Mouse, which remains to be seen. From the looks of the Man & Machine website, this outfit does not appear to be Fortune 500 material. [I especially love how the rolling da Vinci graphic in the banner has no mask and you can see the square outline as it flies into the computer.] But, if Apple can be called rude, what do we call Man & Machine? Naming a product Mighty Mouse in the first place? CBS has owned a trademark in the name Mighty Mouse since they bought TerryToons in 1955. TerryToons was using Mighty Mouse as far back as 1942. I have no axe to grind with Man & Machine and their 27 year history of making specialized computer accessories, but with this trademark suit, they're acting like Oil Can Harry. While that trademark might be limited to cartoon characters, pajamas, toys, costumes and stuffed animals, there are little things in trademark-land called the famous mark doctrine, dilution and confusion. It’s (not exactly) why a portable toilet manufacturer can’t call his commode “Here’s Johnny,” even though Johnny Carson was not in the port-a-potty biz, and even though it’s cute. It’s why you can’t sell a plush toy “couch potato” using the phrase “This spud’s for you,” even though Anheuser-Busch doesn’t sell potatoes or stuffed toys. It's why a Boston punk band couldn't call itself General Foodz. It could be why there'll never be a Toyota Kleenex. It’s certainly why a purveyor of S&M paraphernalia can’t market a “Cool Whip” even though Kraft Foods isn’t into kink. (Sorry, no link)  The way I see it, CBS owns Mighty Mouse and if they want to license it to Apple that's their business, while Man & Machine had no rights to Mighty Mouse ever, and were lucky, up 'til now, that no one sued them. If Man & Machine wins this one, wait until you see my new line of formal wear for southern gentlemen: Tennessee Tuxedos.Thursday, May 15, 2008 Posted 12:00 PM
Deena Kastor Heads to Third… international athletic competition, held every four years in the summer and every four years in the winter, in a different country, where the athletes from each country compete against the athletes from all the other countries to win gold, silver and bronze medals in individual and team sports, said competition originating long ago in Greece, near a big mountain named Olympus, from which this competition, whose name we are prevented from using derives its name, which rhymes with "bunch of pricks." According to the United States 0 |_ j ^^ I* 1 [ Committee, you can't use the word "0 |_ j ^^ I* 1 [ " even if it is to tell someone that this is the event in which you will be competing. The USOC is suing Asics for congratulating a woman who wears their shoes for winning a race and heading to Peking for that competitive event that must not be named. According to the complaint, Asics violated the USOC's trademark by posting "KASTOR HEADS TO THIRD [CENSORED]." Below this text, the advertisement states, "Deena Kastor secured her spot on the US [CENSORED] Team by winning the Women's Marathon [CENSORED] Trials to their website. It should be noted that Kastor wears Asics running shoes and Asics is not an official [CENSORED] sponsor.Asics also had the nerve to publish the following, according to the complaint: "Congratulations to Ryan Hall on his recordbreaking win at the US [CENSORED] Marathon Team Trials. Good luck in the 2008 S[censored]r [CENSORED] Games." I blocked out "Summer" because there's a chance that we may not be able to use the word "Summer" too close to "Games" without running afoul of the USOC.What's real disturbing is that the USOC could actually prevail. Trademark law, and U.S. laws pertaining to the use of the [CENSORED] name and the [CENSORED[ logo are pretty strange. Hey! Maybe we should just call them the Valdemort Games. © 2002-2008 Rob Falk, All Rights Reserved. All Wrongs Denied. Your mileage won't vary; it will be less. | Subscribe to Rants!
  
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