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A fair and balanced compendium of spontaneous exclamations and excited utterances, with 22 entries on the front page. And, now, Home of the YATSASS™ Reports Yet Another True Story About Stupid Studies: • Breathing Bus Exhaust is Stressful • Depressed People May Take Drugs To Feel Better • Smart healthy people choose foods more wisely than stupid drunks • Stressed Out Moms Think Their Babies Are Annoying • People Are Groggy When They Wake Up • Airport Screeners Probably Can't Stop Spread of SARS & Flu • Study on Studies Yields Disappointment! • Lengthy Study with No Findings! A perfect YATSASS! • Making Fun Of Fat Kids Depresses Them • Drinking Highly Sugared Beverages Can Make You Fat! • Americans Prefer Safe & Effective Drugs to Unproven and Dangerous Ones • Study Shows Poor & Homeless Drink More Malt Liquor • Study on People in Studies Yields Predictable Answers, But Also Raises New Questions • Women Don't Like Getting Up to Feed the Newborn While Their Husbands Sleep Like Babies • Sperm Levels Drop With Frequent Ejaculation • People Who Don't Screw Around Get Less Clap • Swimming Can Cause Fluid Build-Up in Lungs • People Who Eat A Proper Diet are Healthier and Thinner • People who don't wet their pants feel better than people who do • Maybe Left Handed Winter Babies have More Brain Cancer, Maybe Not... • People who had nose jobs and people who didn't both like the same kind of noses • People pass more gas when they are active • Kids who spend too much time reading will get headaches • People who get drunk think others are more attractive than they do when they're sober In the old days, My thoughts were more coherent, and I could string together whole sequences of actual paragraphs! Those essays can be found here for those so interested.
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Saturday, March 30, 2002 Posted 2:37 PM
  So I go in to Mcdonalds and ask for a BacnEggnCheez Biscuit and a large coffee. Lady says, You want hash browns? I say no thanks. So, now she says, $2.65. I say, well, wait a minute, the large number 2 meal, (BacnEggnCheez Biscuit, hash browns, and a large coffee) is $2.49. Real snide, she says, I axed if you wanted hash browns. so I say, yeah, I know. I don't want any, but I'm not going to pay you extra to not have them... Very haughtily, she says that's why its a value meal. I say, no, it would be a value meal if it cost less to order all three items together than all three items separately, but it makes no sense for two items to cost more than the three together... She apparently thinks I'm a moron, and says more loudly "das why eetsa balue meal!!" I say, OK cancel my order and give me the value meal. Of course, she doesn't know how to void the order. She needs the key... Huffing and puffing, she cancels the order and rings in the value meal, and huffs over to the hash browns and slams them onto the counter. I pick up the coffee and biscuit and head to the door. She hollers Hey you forgot jor hash browns. I look back and smile and say, No, I didn't. © 2002-2008 Rob Falk, All Rights Reserved. All Wrongs Denied. Your mileage won't vary; it will be less. | Subscribe to Rants!
  
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