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A fair and balanced compendium of spontaneous exclamations and excited utterances, with 22 entries on the front page. And, now, Home of the YATSASS™ Reports Yet Another True Story About Stupid Studies: • Breathing Bus Exhaust is Stressful • Depressed People May Take Drugs To Feel Better • Smart healthy people choose foods more wisely than stupid drunks • Stressed Out Moms Think Their Babies Are Annoying • People Are Groggy When They Wake Up • Airport Screeners Probably Can't Stop Spread of SARS & Flu • Study on Studies Yields Disappointment! • Lengthy Study with No Findings! A perfect YATSASS! • Making Fun Of Fat Kids Depresses Them • Drinking Highly Sugared Beverages Can Make You Fat! • Americans Prefer Safe & Effective Drugs to Unproven and Dangerous Ones • Study Shows Poor & Homeless Drink More Malt Liquor • Study on People in Studies Yields Predictable Answers, But Also Raises New Questions • Women Don't Like Getting Up to Feed the Newborn While Their Husbands Sleep Like Babies • Sperm Levels Drop With Frequent Ejaculation • People Who Don't Screw Around Get Less Clap • Swimming Can Cause Fluid Build-Up in Lungs • People Who Eat A Proper Diet are Healthier and Thinner • People who don't wet their pants feel better than people who do • Maybe Left Handed Winter Babies have More Brain Cancer, Maybe Not... • People who had nose jobs and people who didn't both like the same kind of noses • People pass more gas when they are active • Kids who spend too much time reading will get headaches • People who get drunk think others are more attractive than they do when they're sober In the old days, My thoughts were more coherent, and I could string together whole sequences of actual paragraphs! Those essays can be found here for those so interested.
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Wednesday, April 03, 2002 Posted 8:48 AM
  I live just a few blocks from my daughter's school. The speed limit on the local streets is 20 mph, which, given their narrowness and proximity to the school, is reasonable. But every morning there's a Momster Truck Rally, with Suburbans, Explorers and Caravans barrelling down the middle of the street at oh, say, 35, 40 mph. They're competing with scooters, bikes, roller blades and families with strollers and dogs. But these ladies need their off road vehicles, because that's where they park when they reach the end of the street - off the road and on the lawn of the local neighborhood. Absolutely unbelievable! Up over the tree curb and onto the sidewalk - often times obstructing it to the extent that the kids who walk to school have to walk across the neighbor's lawn, or worse, out into the street into the middle of SUV mayhem. But my favorite part is the drive home: me in my Accord doing 20, with a line of 4WDs behind me, in an odd sort of traffic jam. Then, when we reach the end of the road, with a left or right option and no stop sign, I slowly cruise through. In my rear view mirror I see each of these morons stop, in succession, at the imaginary traffic sign, and then accelerate like jack rabbits, right back to the edge of my bumper. This, yet another reason, why I like all dogs better than most people. © 2002-2008 Rob Falk, All Rights Reserved. All Wrongs Denied. Your mileage won't vary; it will be less. | Subscribe to Rants!
  
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