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A fair and balanced compendium of spontaneous exclamations and excited utterances, with 22 entries on the front page. And, now, Home of the YATSASS™ Reports Yet Another True Story About Stupid Studies: • Breathing Bus Exhaust is Stressful • Depressed People May Take Drugs To Feel Better • Smart healthy people choose foods more wisely than stupid drunks • Stressed Out Moms Think Their Babies Are Annoying • People Are Groggy When They Wake Up • Airport Screeners Probably Can't Stop Spread of SARS & Flu • Study on Studies Yields Disappointment! • Lengthy Study with No Findings! A perfect YATSASS! • Making Fun Of Fat Kids Depresses Them • Drinking Highly Sugared Beverages Can Make You Fat! • Americans Prefer Safe & Effective Drugs to Unproven and Dangerous Ones • Study Shows Poor & Homeless Drink More Malt Liquor • Study on People in Studies Yields Predictable Answers, But Also Raises New Questions • Women Don't Like Getting Up to Feed the Newborn While Their Husbands Sleep Like Babies • Sperm Levels Drop With Frequent Ejaculation • People Who Don't Screw Around Get Less Clap • Swimming Can Cause Fluid Build-Up in Lungs • People Who Eat A Proper Diet are Healthier and Thinner • People who don't wet their pants feel better than people who do • Maybe Left Handed Winter Babies have More Brain Cancer, Maybe Not... • People who had nose jobs and people who didn't both like the same kind of noses • People pass more gas when they are active • Kids who spend too much time reading will get headaches • People who get drunk think others are more attractive than they do when they're sober In the old days, My thoughts were more coherent, and I could string together whole sequences of actual paragraphs! Those essays can be found here for those so interested.
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Thursday, October 24, 2002 Posted 2:24 PM
  From the "No doubt, they meant well, but..." Department: Someone left a brown paper bag of halloween candy on our doorstep the other day, with a note signed by the Halloween Phantom attached. The note said something about making five more bags and putting them on five other people's doors, and sharing the spirit of the Halloween Phantom Uh, yeah. Like, Right, as my daughter might say. This is still a small town, and maybe I'm just a little paranoid, but is this the day and age where we accept and eat from anonymous packages left at the doorstep? Is it a good idea to encourage a child to prepare and leave anonymous packages at other peoples' houses? Hmm... let's see, we won't drink milk that we pick up at the grocery store unless there are two unbroken seals on it. We don't open mail from strangers anymore. We walk with our kids on Halloween, make sure they only visit houses where we know the residents, and still throw out the candy that is not securely wrapped. The spirit of the Halloween Phantom? NOT! © 2002-2008 Rob Falk, All Rights Reserved. All Wrongs Denied. Your mileage won't vary; it will be less. | Subscribe to Rants!
  
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