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A fair and balanced compendium of spontaneous exclamations and excited utterances, with 22 entries on the front page. And, now, Home of the YATSASS™ Reports Yet Another True Story About Stupid Studies: • Breathing Bus Exhaust is Stressful • Depressed People May Take Drugs To Feel Better • Smart healthy people choose foods more wisely than stupid drunks • Stressed Out Moms Think Their Babies Are Annoying • People Are Groggy When They Wake Up • Airport Screeners Probably Can't Stop Spread of SARS & Flu • Study on Studies Yields Disappointment! • Lengthy Study with No Findings! A perfect YATSASS! • Making Fun Of Fat Kids Depresses Them • Drinking Highly Sugared Beverages Can Make You Fat! • Americans Prefer Safe & Effective Drugs to Unproven and Dangerous Ones • Study Shows Poor & Homeless Drink More Malt Liquor • Study on People in Studies Yields Predictable Answers, But Also Raises New Questions • Women Don't Like Getting Up to Feed the Newborn While Their Husbands Sleep Like Babies • Sperm Levels Drop With Frequent Ejaculation • People Who Don't Screw Around Get Less Clap • Swimming Can Cause Fluid Build-Up in Lungs • People Who Eat A Proper Diet are Healthier and Thinner • People who don't wet their pants feel better than people who do • Maybe Left Handed Winter Babies have More Brain Cancer, Maybe Not... • People who had nose jobs and people who didn't both like the same kind of noses • People pass more gas when they are active • Kids who spend too much time reading will get headaches • People who get drunk think others are more attractive than they do when they're sober In the old days, My thoughts were more coherent, and I could string together whole sequences of actual paragraphs! Those essays can be found here for those so interested.
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Thursday, September 23, 2004 Posted 7:28 PM
  Can You Feel the F^*%&n' Love Tonight, you vile pig? Elton John Calls Taiwan Media 'Rude, Vile Pigs' Notwithstanding the validity of his position, Queen Elton had an absolute hissy-fit last night, when - get this - photographers and television crews had the chutzpah to try to take pictures of the internationally famous singer as he disembarked from an airliner, enroute to a public concert. Somehow, had they busted into his boudoir he might have been more reasonable in his reaction, but Sir Reg had already played concerts in Shanghai and Hong Kong, and was due due perform in Taiwan tonight. Would he have been more happy had no one showed up and no one cared? As another Limey once said, "There's only one thing worst than being hounded by the rude vile pigs of the press, and that is not..." Maybe the Evian was not at perfect room temperature in first class? Then again, Mr. Dwight didn't actually pen any of the lyrics to any of his songs. That has always been left to Bernie Taupin. Maybe Elton is just a rude, vile, bitter and bitchy old queen? © 2002-2008 Rob Falk, All Rights Reserved. All Wrongs Denied. Your mileage won't vary; it will be less. | Subscribe to Rants!
  
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