|
A fair and balanced compendium of spontaneous exclamations and excited utterances, with 22 entries on the front page. And, now, Home of the YATSASS™ Reports Yet Another True Story About Stupid Studies: • Breathing Bus Exhaust is Stressful • Depressed People May Take Drugs To Feel Better • Smart healthy people choose foods more wisely than stupid drunks • Stressed Out Moms Think Their Babies Are Annoying • People Are Groggy When They Wake Up • Airport Screeners Probably Can't Stop Spread of SARS & Flu • Study on Studies Yields Disappointment! • Lengthy Study with No Findings! A perfect YATSASS! • Making Fun Of Fat Kids Depresses Them • Drinking Highly Sugared Beverages Can Make You Fat! • Americans Prefer Safe & Effective Drugs to Unproven and Dangerous Ones • Study Shows Poor & Homeless Drink More Malt Liquor • Study on People in Studies Yields Predictable Answers, But Also Raises New Questions • Women Don't Like Getting Up to Feed the Newborn While Their Husbands Sleep Like Babies • Sperm Levels Drop With Frequent Ejaculation • People Who Don't Screw Around Get Less Clap • Swimming Can Cause Fluid Build-Up in Lungs • People Who Eat A Proper Diet are Healthier and Thinner • People who don't wet their pants feel better than people who do • Maybe Left Handed Winter Babies have More Brain Cancer, Maybe Not... • People who had nose jobs and people who didn't both like the same kind of noses • People pass more gas when they are active • Kids who spend too much time reading will get headaches • People who get drunk think others are more attractive than they do when they're sober In the old days, My thoughts were more coherent, and I could string together whole sequences of actual paragraphs! Those essays can be found here for those so interested. |
Friday, October 08, 2004
Did I miss the joke? Why do the Boston Red Sox have a collection of some of the ugliest beards in all of Major League Base... No. In all the world? Very few beards are more ugly, and the ugliness quotient on the Red Sox probably outpaces any other recognized group of people, including Chassidim, Homeless men, and circus freaks. Did the guys get together and decide to have an ugly beard contest? Wait! David Ortiz just this moment hit a homerun to ice the series. He's clean shaven. Oh, my, this does not look good for the Red Sox... They've won 8 to 6, and swept the Angels. Remember! The only way the Red Sox can win the World Series is if, no matter what, you don't ever believe, not even for a nanosecond, that they even have a chance. Please do not jump out of your seat, yell loudly, have a drink in celebration, or even smile. Just go about your business. Watch the debate. With apologies to the late, great Tug McGraw: Ya gotta not believe! © 2002-2008 Rob Falk, All Rights Reserved. All Wrongs Denied. Your mileage won't vary; it will be less. | Subscribe to Rants!
...with other readers:Subscribe by E-mail |