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A fair and balanced compendium of spontaneous exclamations and excited utterances, with 22 entries on the front page. And, now, Home of the YATSASS™ Reports Yet Another True Story About Stupid Studies: • Breathing Bus Exhaust is Stressful • Depressed People May Take Drugs To Feel Better • Smart healthy people choose foods more wisely than stupid drunks • Stressed Out Moms Think Their Babies Are Annoying • People Are Groggy When They Wake Up • Airport Screeners Probably Can't Stop Spread of SARS & Flu • Study on Studies Yields Disappointment! • Lengthy Study with No Findings! A perfect YATSASS! • Making Fun Of Fat Kids Depresses Them • Drinking Highly Sugared Beverages Can Make You Fat! • Americans Prefer Safe & Effective Drugs to Unproven and Dangerous Ones • Study Shows Poor & Homeless Drink More Malt Liquor • Study on People in Studies Yields Predictable Answers, But Also Raises New Questions • Women Don't Like Getting Up to Feed the Newborn While Their Husbands Sleep Like Babies • Sperm Levels Drop With Frequent Ejaculation • People Who Don't Screw Around Get Less Clap • Swimming Can Cause Fluid Build-Up in Lungs • People Who Eat A Proper Diet are Healthier and Thinner • People who don't wet their pants feel better than people who do • Maybe Left Handed Winter Babies have More Brain Cancer, Maybe Not... • People who had nose jobs and people who didn't both like the same kind of noses • People pass more gas when they are active • Kids who spend too much time reading will get headaches • People who get drunk think others are more attractive than they do when they're sober In the old days, My thoughts were more coherent, and I could string together whole sequences of actual paragraphs! Those essays can be found here for those so interested.
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Tuesday, October 19, 2004 Posted 6:12 PM
  A Thin Line Between Clever and Stupid... I'm sure all the used car dealers, autoglass, windowshade, body shops, carpet and tire guys who do their own radio commercials thought that they were real Jay Lenos when, instead of featuring their children, a farm animal, or some other lame idea, decided to close their spots with some variant of I authorized this commercial. OK, hah, hah - aren't you clever, you're alluding to the omnipresent political ads we have been inundated with, and will have to endure for another approximately 13 days, 5 hours and 59 minutes. (But, hey, who's counting?) But here's a point to ponder: the tagline itself just isn't funny. You need to do something with it. Otherwise, the unlikely juxtaposition when first heard would have been amusing to some extent, but after that, just kind of annoying. So, I propose a moratorium on any and all "I approved" tags unless you are attacking a veteran's war record, scare-mongering, lying about social security, or it is otherwise legally required. © 2002-2008 Rob Falk, All Rights Reserved. All Wrongs Denied. Your mileage won't vary; it will be less. | Subscribe to Rants!
  
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