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A fair and balanced compendium of spontaneous exclamations and excited utterances, with 22 entries on the front page. And, now, Home of the YATSASS™ Reports Yet Another True Story About Stupid Studies: • Breathing Bus Exhaust is Stressful • Depressed People May Take Drugs To Feel Better • Smart healthy people choose foods more wisely than stupid drunks • Stressed Out Moms Think Their Babies Are Annoying • People Are Groggy When They Wake Up • Airport Screeners Probably Can't Stop Spread of SARS & Flu • Study on Studies Yields Disappointment! • Lengthy Study with No Findings! A perfect YATSASS! • Making Fun Of Fat Kids Depresses Them • Drinking Highly Sugared Beverages Can Make You Fat! • Americans Prefer Safe & Effective Drugs to Unproven and Dangerous Ones • Study Shows Poor & Homeless Drink More Malt Liquor • Study on People in Studies Yields Predictable Answers, But Also Raises New Questions • Women Don't Like Getting Up to Feed the Newborn While Their Husbands Sleep Like Babies • Sperm Levels Drop With Frequent Ejaculation • People Who Don't Screw Around Get Less Clap • Swimming Can Cause Fluid Build-Up in Lungs • People Who Eat A Proper Diet are Healthier and Thinner • People who don't wet their pants feel better than people who do • Maybe Left Handed Winter Babies have More Brain Cancer, Maybe Not... • People who had nose jobs and people who didn't both like the same kind of noses • People pass more gas when they are active • Kids who spend too much time reading will get headaches • People who get drunk think others are more attractive than they do when they're sober In the old days, My thoughts were more coherent, and I could string together whole sequences of actual paragraphs! Those essays can be found here for those so interested.
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Wednesday, April 06, 2005 Posted 7:25 PM
  Beating a Dead Whore...Horse... Jackson, O.J. Join Mourners at Cochran's Funeral: LOS ANGELES (Reuters)
Now there's tribute for you. I hear that formerBaretta star Robert Blake and former New York Nets center Jayson Williams were also spotted in the crowd, even though they had never met or been represented by him. Said Blake, "He was one of the greatest. I mean, I am very grateful to Mr. Mesereau for getting me out on bail, and Mr. Schwartzbach for getting me off, but now there's one less cat around who can spring you for good." Added Williams, "Yeah, Bob, I hear you man. I mean, I owe alot to Billy Martin, of course I paid him alot too. But he couldn't bust a rhyme like Mr. Cochrane; with that 'glove don't fit 'n shit.. you know what I'm sayin'?" Sean Puff Daddy/P. Diddy Combs nodded in agreement. "He came and he saved my life. Because of him I get to see my kids, I get to see my mother and I get to make music and be here with you all today. That's a whole lot better than Shyne got, and he didn't do shit. But he didn't have Johnny." Todd Bridges was equally effusive in his praise, "Like without Johnny, man, I never coulda stabbed my roomate. I woulda been doin' time for shootin' Tex." Michael Jackson summed it up, "I just wish he'd been well enough to get me off again, this time. Back in 1994 he kept the whole thing out of criminal court. What a great, great man. Sure, I paid him and the boy quite a lot of money, but that's a lot better than going to jail! I bought him a nice big bottle of Jesus Juice as a thank you." © 2002-2008 Rob Falk, All Rights Reserved. All Wrongs Denied. Your mileage won't vary; it will be less. | Subscribe to Rants!
  
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