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A fair and balanced compendium of spontaneous exclamations and excited utterances, with 22 entries on the front page. And, now, Home of the YATSASS™ Reports Yet Another True Story About Stupid Studies: • Breathing Bus Exhaust is Stressful • Depressed People May Take Drugs To Feel Better • Smart healthy people choose foods more wisely than stupid drunks • Stressed Out Moms Think Their Babies Are Annoying • People Are Groggy When They Wake Up • Airport Screeners Probably Can't Stop Spread of SARS & Flu • Study on Studies Yields Disappointment! • Lengthy Study with No Findings! A perfect YATSASS! • Making Fun Of Fat Kids Depresses Them • Drinking Highly Sugared Beverages Can Make You Fat! • Americans Prefer Safe & Effective Drugs to Unproven and Dangerous Ones • Study Shows Poor & Homeless Drink More Malt Liquor • Study on People in Studies Yields Predictable Answers, But Also Raises New Questions • Women Don't Like Getting Up to Feed the Newborn While Their Husbands Sleep Like Babies • Sperm Levels Drop With Frequent Ejaculation • People Who Don't Screw Around Get Less Clap • Swimming Can Cause Fluid Build-Up in Lungs • People Who Eat A Proper Diet are Healthier and Thinner • People who don't wet their pants feel better than people who do • Maybe Left Handed Winter Babies have More Brain Cancer, Maybe Not... • People who had nose jobs and people who didn't both like the same kind of noses • People pass more gas when they are active • Kids who spend too much time reading will get headaches • People who get drunk think others are more attractive than they do when they're sober In the old days, My thoughts were more coherent, and I could string together whole sequences of actual paragraphs! Those essays can be found here for those so interested.
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Monday, May 23, 2005 Posted 4:51 PM
  Would Someone Tell Me? I'm walking through the mall this afternoon after wasting an entire day on "Jury Duty," when I hear I Can't Go For That by Hall & Oates. You gotta love the government, with all those video tapes, and the heartfelt thank-you's from the judge at the end of the day: "It's because of people like you, who are willing to serve, that this system works...," must have been repeated about 90 times. Yes, willing to serve, in the same way Internal Revenue is a service. I don't exactly remember when I signed up. Seems I got a summons that said I'd be arrested, possibly imprisoned, and fined about $2,000 if I weren't willing to serve at precisely 8AM sharp on the 5th floor of the court house. I think there's still a few 'Nam vets who know all about our government, and willing to serve, not to mention a whole lot of National Guard volunteers who were supposed to be home by Christmas, but keep on finding out that Uncle Sam has unilaterally extended their volunteerism. Now, don't be calling me some pinko bed-wetting baby; I believe jury duty is an important obligation. I just don't like euphemisms, especially when used by our government. I also don't like sitting around for an entire day, not being allowed to read or speak, all the while knowing that I will not, have not ever, and will never be impanelled. As an attorney, a victim of a crime, a civil plaintiff & defendant, a self-employed person with child custody, as well as a firmly held opinion that most people who are arrested are guilty, and that most civil cases that go all the way to trial, without settlement, means that there's enough unreasonableness on one or both sides, that I don't want to be annoyed with the petty details.... it just ain't gonna happen. There's more important things than reforming the jury system so I don't have to go, but there are lots of other reasons, that I don't have time to get into now. So I was listening to this ...Oh-whoa-I... I would do - oo -oo anythi-ing for love... but I can't go for that, can't go for that... in the mall, and it hit me! Is the that that they can't go for the same that that Meatloaf said he won't do, even though he said [He] Would Do Anything For Love? If so, what is that? With Meatloaf I always figured it was receiving anal sex, but with Hall & Oates I'm not sure that's the case. So, just what are those guys singing about? Would someone tell me? Those crazy kids with their loud music. Oh, and I'm good for 3 years on the jury service thing now... © 2002-2008 Rob Falk, All Rights Reserved. All Wrongs Denied. Your mileage won't vary; it will be less. | Subscribe to Rants!
  
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