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A fair and balanced compendium of spontaneous exclamations and excited utterances, with 22 entries on the front page. And, now, Home of the YATSASS™ Reports Yet Another True Story About Stupid Studies: • Breathing Bus Exhaust is Stressful • Depressed People May Take Drugs To Feel Better • Smart healthy people choose foods more wisely than stupid drunks • Stressed Out Moms Think Their Babies Are Annoying • People Are Groggy When They Wake Up • Airport Screeners Probably Can't Stop Spread of SARS & Flu • Study on Studies Yields Disappointment! • Lengthy Study with No Findings! A perfect YATSASS! • Making Fun Of Fat Kids Depresses Them • Drinking Highly Sugared Beverages Can Make You Fat! • Americans Prefer Safe & Effective Drugs to Unproven and Dangerous Ones • Study Shows Poor & Homeless Drink More Malt Liquor • Study on People in Studies Yields Predictable Answers, But Also Raises New Questions • Women Don't Like Getting Up to Feed the Newborn While Their Husbands Sleep Like Babies • Sperm Levels Drop With Frequent Ejaculation • People Who Don't Screw Around Get Less Clap • Swimming Can Cause Fluid Build-Up in Lungs • People Who Eat A Proper Diet are Healthier and Thinner • People who don't wet their pants feel better than people who do • Maybe Left Handed Winter Babies have More Brain Cancer, Maybe Not... • People who had nose jobs and people who didn't both like the same kind of noses • People pass more gas when they are active • Kids who spend too much time reading will get headaches • People who get drunk think others are more attractive than they do when they're sober In the old days, My thoughts were more coherent, and I could string together whole sequences of actual paragraphs! Those essays can be found here for those so interested. |
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Attention Don Rumsfeld & Pope Benedict!!! I have a plan for you guys that might just be a Win/Win solution for both the U.S. Navy and the Catholic Church. Please, hear me out: 1. Whereas both institutions find themselves in a financial predicament; and 2. Whereas both institutions have indicated an intent to close, or in fact have already closed, branchs, plants, bases, churches, schools, rectories, barracks etc; and; 3. Whereas these actions or plans of action have brought, or will bring, real or imagined, pain to their respective constituents; and 4. Whereas both institutions have a well known proclivity for sexual indiscretion... Why not merge the Navy and the Catholic Church? You could probably keep a few more bases and churches open, satisfying the citizens and the members of the various dioces, and lord knows a few of those bowlegged boys in uniform would satisfy members of the clergy. © 2002-2008 Rob Falk, All Rights Reserved. All Wrongs Denied. Your mileage won't vary; it will be less. | Subscribe to Rants!
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