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A fair and balanced compendium of spontaneous exclamations and excited utterances, with 22 entries on the front page. And, now, Home of the YATSASS™ Reports Yet Another True Story About Stupid Studies: • Breathing Bus Exhaust is Stressful • Depressed People May Take Drugs To Feel Better • Smart healthy people choose foods more wisely than stupid drunks • Stressed Out Moms Think Their Babies Are Annoying • People Are Groggy When They Wake Up • Airport Screeners Probably Can't Stop Spread of SARS & Flu • Study on Studies Yields Disappointment! • Lengthy Study with No Findings! A perfect YATSASS! • Making Fun Of Fat Kids Depresses Them • Drinking Highly Sugared Beverages Can Make You Fat! • Americans Prefer Safe & Effective Drugs to Unproven and Dangerous Ones • Study Shows Poor & Homeless Drink More Malt Liquor • Study on People in Studies Yields Predictable Answers, But Also Raises New Questions • Women Don't Like Getting Up to Feed the Newborn While Their Husbands Sleep Like Babies • Sperm Levels Drop With Frequent Ejaculation • People Who Don't Screw Around Get Less Clap • Swimming Can Cause Fluid Build-Up in Lungs • People Who Eat A Proper Diet are Healthier and Thinner • People who don't wet their pants feel better than people who do • Maybe Left Handed Winter Babies have More Brain Cancer, Maybe Not... • People who had nose jobs and people who didn't both like the same kind of noses • People pass more gas when they are active • Kids who spend too much time reading will get headaches • People who get drunk think others are more attractive than they do when they're sober In the old days, My thoughts were more coherent, and I could string together whole sequences of actual paragraphs! Those essays can be found here for those so interested.
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Wednesday, August 03, 2005 Posted 7:07 PM
  The End Of Cigarette Smoking is at Hand! Who'dve ever thought that after adopting all the orphans in Southeast Asia, actress Angelina Jolie would have come up with the way to get the world to quit...
In an informal survey, 90% of all men asked, said they'd give up cigarettes in a New York minute, if they thought that would give them a better chance of bagging the Tomb Raider. Another 5% said it might take them a day. Surprisingly, 35% of women responded likewise. Now if Pitt were to issue a similar ultimatum, that he would never have sex with a cigarette smoker, our survey got even more interesting. It seems that 95% of women, and 15% of all men surveyed said that increasing their chance of sex with Pitt would be worth snuffing the cancer sticks. So there you have it, irrefutable proof that if the Jolie/Pitt team were to make a joint proclamation, cigarette consumption on planet earth would plunge. © 2002-2008 Rob Falk, All Rights Reserved. All Wrongs Denied. Your mileage won't vary; it will be less. | Subscribe to Rants!
  
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