In the old days, My thoughts were more coherent, and I could string together whole sequences of actual paragraphs! Those essays can be found here for those so interested.
"Illusionist David Copperfield's problems [in the investigation of an alleged rape] have worsened following the discovery of a document that reportedly outlines how his assistants were to gather women he found attractive at his shows."
Me thinks anyone who has been on tour with any rock band above club stature would immediately tell you that the only thing "damning" about this document is that his roadies needed a document.
It must have been found in the forms appendix to "Professional Tour Support for Dummies," in between "How to Tune a Guitar," and "How to Iron a Scarf."