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A fair and balanced compendium of spontaneous exclamations and excited utterances, with 22 entries on the front page. And, now, Home of the YATSASS™ Reports Yet Another True Story About Stupid Studies: • Breathing Bus Exhaust is Stressful • Depressed People May Take Drugs To Feel Better • Smart healthy people choose foods more wisely than stupid drunks • Stressed Out Moms Think Their Babies Are Annoying • People Are Groggy When They Wake Up • Airport Screeners Probably Can't Stop Spread of SARS & Flu • Study on Studies Yields Disappointment! • Lengthy Study with No Findings! A perfect YATSASS! • Making Fun Of Fat Kids Depresses Them • Drinking Highly Sugared Beverages Can Make You Fat! • Americans Prefer Safe & Effective Drugs to Unproven and Dangerous Ones • Study Shows Poor & Homeless Drink More Malt Liquor • Study on People in Studies Yields Predictable Answers, But Also Raises New Questions • Women Don't Like Getting Up to Feed the Newborn While Their Husbands Sleep Like Babies • Sperm Levels Drop With Frequent Ejaculation • People Who Don't Screw Around Get Less Clap • Swimming Can Cause Fluid Build-Up in Lungs • People Who Eat A Proper Diet are Healthier and Thinner • People who don't wet their pants feel better than people who do • Maybe Left Handed Winter Babies have More Brain Cancer, Maybe Not... • People who had nose jobs and people who didn't both like the same kind of noses • People pass more gas when they are active • Kids who spend too much time reading will get headaches • People who get drunk think others are more attractive than they do when they're sober In the old days, My thoughts were more coherent, and I could string together whole sequences of actual paragraphs! Those essays can be found here for those so interested.
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Tuesday, July 30, 2002 Posted 2:34 PM
  To the fathead who is suing McDonald's - I hope they implead your parents and file a crossclaim for raising a moron. Posted 12:46 PM
I wonder where he'll go? GODLEY, Texas (Reuters) - An argument over who was going to heaven and who was going to hell ended with one Texas man shooting another to death with a shotgun, police said on Monday. Friday, July 26, 2002 Posted 4:59 PM
Its just a thought, but maybe they should cremate Bobby-Jo and freeze John Henry and Claudia... Posted 11:09 AM
Apparently, they did save Hitler's brain...Rep. Howard L. Berman, D-Calif., formally proposed legislation that would give the recorded music industry unprecedented new authority to secretly hack into consumers' computers or knock them off-line entirely if they are caught downloading copyrighted material. I'm not sure, but would this allow Suge Knight to browse my donload cache? Somebody stop this moron before he gets Jesse Helms all excited... Thursday, July 25, 2002 Posted 10:36 AM
A California Appeals Court judge has ruled that it's OK to make fun of Barbie. It's great to know I am not the only person involved in very studpid litigation. Judge Alex Kozinski ruled that - get this: parody and opinion are allowed under the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. Among his other findings, he declared that Barbie once looked like a "street walker" but is now a "glamourous long-legged blonde." Mattel had sued MCA Records over the song "Barbie Girl" by the band Aqua. The song features lines like "I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world. Life in plastic - it's fantastic!" Meanwhile, in the chorus "Ken" exhorts, "Come on Barbie! Let's go party!" After Mattel publicly labeled MCA "bankrobbers" MCA filed a counterclaim for defamation. Kozinski has also [wisely] rejected that claim But, here's the best part of Judge Kozinsinki's findings and order. A formal order of the court: "The parties are advised to chill." You gotta love that!!! I'd like to see that order adopted as a Rule of the Court! Wednesday, July 24, 2002 Posted 4:45 PM
How come, on a day where the Dow rose 489 points, every single stock and mutual fund I own lost money? Tuesday, July 23, 2002 Posted 4:24 PM
Screw Apple! Friday, July 19, 2002 Posted 10:03 AM
I've been an Apple Owner/User since 1982. I have purchased a couple hundred in various jobs. I just bought my 7th (personal) Apple computer, the brand spankin' new iBook 700 at the Apple Store in Danvers, MA in early June, despite it being a G3, on the promise that when Jaguar came out in the late summer, as a free upgrade it would really scream... I guess I'm the one who'll have to scream. $130 for an incremental OS Upgrade on a machine I haven't even had for two months!!! I'll also be dropping my iTools account. Although I never found it to be much use at all, I thought it showed some support for Apple. Switch? It looks more like Bait and Switch! Why does the coolest hardware and software company always shoot themselves in the foot and slap their loyalists in the face? More and more I think instead of Apple loyalists, we should be called Apple co-dependant enablers. If I had a family member or friend who behaved like this, I'd have an intervention and send them to a treatment center. If that didn't work, I'd have to, regretfully, cut them out of my life. It's time for an intervention for Steve Jobs. If it doesn't work, I think its time for tough love. MS here I come... Thursday, July 11, 2002 Posted 10:13 AM
Just a couple of random thoughts:Does anyone use and rely on any Iomega product anymore? You talk about seriously lame technology wrapped by even lamer customer service and you must be talking about Iomega! And the unmitigated nerve of AT&T Broadband: they actually run advertisements touting their customer service! The Boston Globe yesterday featured an ad suggesting that customer service was why you would choose AT&T over a satellite company: "It's cold and lonely in outer space," reads the copy, "try calling their customer service and that's how you'll feel." Amazing, but I guess true enough for FTC purposes. Certainly, when I called AT&T I did not feel "cold and lonely;" Hot & Bothered was more like it. When you can put people on hold for more than 45 minutes, and then not schedule a repair call for more than a week, and tout that as your strong suit, you've got balls! See here and here Wednesday, July 10, 2002 Posted 11:23 AM
Monday, America West Airlines actually had the requisite combination of gall and stupidity to remove a woman from their San Francisco - Tucson flight after she asked a flight attendant if the flight crew had been checked for sobriety. Four questions arise: One: Was it not a fair question? Two: If it was a joke, what threat was perceived? I understand that jokes about bombs and other matters that might affect passenger or airline security are forbidden, and in some cases criminal, but is an inquiry into the pilot's sobriety - joking or not - a threat? Might I ask if the pilot had a good night's sleep? Or will that land me in jail? Three: How much do you think this will cost the airline? Four: Don't you think the person who made the decision to remove the passenger should have been checked for sobriety - and any sign of brain activity above the Medulla? © 2002-2008 Rob Falk, All Rights Reserved. All Wrongs Denied. Your mileage won't vary; it will be less. | Subscribe to Rants!
  
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