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A fair and balanced compendium of spontaneous exclamations and excited utterances, with 22 entries on the front page. And, now, Home of the YATSASS™ Reports Yet Another True Story About Stupid Studies: • Breathing Bus Exhaust is Stressful • Depressed People May Take Drugs To Feel Better • Smart healthy people choose foods more wisely than stupid drunks • Stressed Out Moms Think Their Babies Are Annoying • People Are Groggy When They Wake Up • Airport Screeners Probably Can't Stop Spread of SARS & Flu • Study on Studies Yields Disappointment! • Lengthy Study with No Findings! A perfect YATSASS! • Making Fun Of Fat Kids Depresses Them • Drinking Highly Sugared Beverages Can Make You Fat! • Americans Prefer Safe & Effective Drugs to Unproven and Dangerous Ones • Study Shows Poor & Homeless Drink More Malt Liquor • Study on People in Studies Yields Predictable Answers, But Also Raises New Questions • Women Don't Like Getting Up to Feed the Newborn While Their Husbands Sleep Like Babies • Sperm Levels Drop With Frequent Ejaculation • People Who Don't Screw Around Get Less Clap • Swimming Can Cause Fluid Build-Up in Lungs • People Who Eat A Proper Diet are Healthier and Thinner • People who don't wet their pants feel better than people who do • Maybe Left Handed Winter Babies have More Brain Cancer, Maybe Not... • People who had nose jobs and people who didn't both like the same kind of noses • People pass more gas when they are active • Kids who spend too much time reading will get headaches • People who get drunk think others are more attractive than they do when they're sober In the old days, My thoughts were more coherent, and I could string together whole sequences of actual paragraphs! Those essays can be found here for those so interested.
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Tuesday, June 21, 2005 Posted 10:43 AM
  Attention Don Rumsfeld & Pope Benedict!!! I have a plan for you guys that might just be a Win/Win solution for both the U.S. Navy and the Catholic Church. Please, hear me out: 1. Whereas both institutions find themselves in a financial predicament; and 2. Whereas both institutions have indicated an intent to close, or in fact have already closed, branchs, plants, bases, churches, schools, rectories, barracks etc; and; 3. Whereas these actions or plans of action have brought, or will bring, real or imagined, pain to their respective constituents; and 4. Whereas both institutions have a well known proclivity for sexual indiscretion... Why not merge the Navy and the Catholic Church? You could probably keep a few more bases and churches open, satisfying the citizens and the members of the various dioces, and lord knows a few of those bowlegged boys in uniform would satisfy members of the clergy. Posted 10:39 AM
I took this quiz. It seems pretty accurate. I love the strong Goofy, Ariel, and Peter Pan tendencies!
Wednesday, June 08, 2005 Posted 9:08 AM
Steve, For God's Sake! Do we always have to Think Different Just when Microsoft is abandoning Intel and switching to IBM chips for XBOX, Stevie decides to switch from IBM to Intel. He says it will take developers just a couple weeks of coding to make the transition. Cool! How much does that cost? I doubt the updates will be free. No enhanced features, just so they can run. Very cool If you don't upgrade, then you can run in emulation mode, like you did when you made the jump from OS8 to OS9 - remember those bloated apps that were really two in one? Ran kinda crappy on the old system, and ran kinda better, but not as good as a "native" app? Cool! Maybe me and a bunch of other consultants (who found less work available after OS 10.3 made everything a binary: it works or it needed to be sent back.) Very little professional system maintenance needed. Maybe they'll need us again? "Hey, my printer won't print. Hey! Windows crashes when I fax." HEY Hey, hey!!!Way cool! I guarantee you that work won't be free! And then there's the other way to keep on running your old apps on the new machine, and we all love that scenario. Classic Mode, you know, that little virtual computer within the computer that kinda sorta runs your old apps, except kind sorta can't get on the Internet, or kinda sorta can't print, or kinda sorta can't drag and drop between windows... And kind sorta just got deleted from people's disks since all it really did was take up space while gradually convincing even the most obstinate and parsimonious of us to bite the bullet and by new versions of formerly fine programs, with no added features, but of course riddled with new bugs since it too was running on a brand new platform. Hey, maybe not, but I got a feeling you can kiss your peripherals good bye. When's the last time you saw a system rebuilt from the ground up where you didn't need to get a new printer, or scanner, or drawing tablet. Usually, when people think different it's a good thing: they have a vision and they follow it, and mankind benefits. Usually they make an attempt at explaining themselves. But sometimes they think different and have a vision, take Joseph Hazlewood for instance. He thought different too. Which way you goin' Steve? Can we name to next Mac, the one to replace or brand new G-5's, and to completely obsolete our G-3's, the G-Whiz? Monday, June 06, 2005 Posted 2:12 PM
Hey! I Thought Only Sick People Smoke Pot ?!?
But here's the totally whacked part. Guess which judges formed the dissenting minority in this case? Ginsberg? Nope. Souter? Nope. Oh, must a been that ole commie, J.P. Stevens? Nope! Ladies and gentlemen, who voted in favor of allowing the states to decide whether or not pot could be used for medicinal purposes?
Sandy? Yeah, I guess. But Thomas & Renquist? Whodda' thunk it? Yeah, I know they called it a states' rights issue, but still... the thought of Renquist and Thomas reconciling states rights and firin' up a doob is a scenario that boggles your brain. Even your brain on drugs.. Wednesday, June 01, 2005 Posted 2:24 PM
YATSASS: Drinking Highly Sugared Beverages Can Make You Fat!
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